Kiss My Ass, 2006

The year was 2006. It was a time when we as gamers heard hype, viral marketing, and the cries of microtransactions. It was a time when we as gamers saw the CG-trailers and “target videos”, and it was a time when we as gamers played those hyped games that we longed to get our hands upon for many a moon. The year was 2006.

2006 was a trying time for publishers and developers, as well as gamers. As Microsoft slowly refueled the supply of Xbox 360’s, Sony and Nintendo were attempting to gain momuntum for their own respective machines, the Revolution and the Sony PlayStation3. And gamers were forced to suffer through early 360 shortages, few announcements from Nintendo, and an ever-increasing amount of announcements from Sony that pushed the PlayStation3’s launch.

It was especially trying for me, as I’ve had to deal with this INFERNAL POST-WRITER!

Seriously, WordPress! FIX YOUR SERVICE!

Gamers faced a shortage of games early on as well. As soon as a new 360 game came out, anyone who had a working 360 would pounce on it. Those who owned Oblivion were entertained for quite some time, but forced to deal with its long loads and broken patches. GameCube continued to show absolutely no support, and the PlayStation2 continued to have its multiplatform third-party games (which included Crusty Demon and Ruff Trigger). And it seemed like no hope was in sight coming into the summer months.

As always, Summer is a trying time for gamers. With some of the big games including games designed for children in the past years. But this Summer was filled with numerous surprises on the Nintendo DS. Games such as the cult-hits Brain Age and Big Brain Academy caught the eye of the older crowd, while games such as New Super Mario Bros. kept ”more than casual” gamers happy. The DS Lite came out as well, and enticed gamers with its sleek new design and brighter backlit screen, it was a must have for many months.

Of course, with Summer comes the Electronic Entertainment Exposition, also known as E3. E3 2006 came with many announcements, sweaty fanboys, pissed off journalists, and million-dolar booths. Nintendo pulled a ballsy move just ten days before the event, changing the name of their console. It would no longer be known as a Revolution, but as a Wii. Nintendo came out swinging (literally) with the Wiis motion-sensing controllers and four-hour lines at E3, but no date or price in sight. Sony had pulled an even ballsier move, announcing the PS3’s launch price of $500-600, and announcing a worldwide release of November 17, 2006. And pulling the ”copycat”, Sony implemented motion-sensing in their new controller. The controller doesn’t feature rumble they said, and so it cannot be called a DualShock. So, it was called the SIXAXIS. Many good quotes came out of Sony’s conference, such as “attack the enemy crabs weak points for massive damage is a feature” as well as “Riiiiiiiiiidge Racer!”. Microsoft already had a one-year lead on the competitors, and showed off Live Anywhere, which would merge the 360 and the PC, as well as Games for Windows. Cliff Bleszinski showed off his upcoming shooter, Gears of War, as well.

The games on display were amazing and thrilling, with Super Smash Bros. Brawl, Resistance: Fall of Man, Gears of War, and Spore being crowd pleasers. Celebrities couldn’t name their own games correctly, Kentia Hall was filled with strange things, and many games featured a ”2007″ release date. And then just like that, E3 was gone forever. Companies started to get annoyed with the costs of building the booths, and pulled out.

Summer had come and gone, leaving Fall to look forward to. But yet, nothing happened in the Fall but dissapointment. Nintendo revealed the Wii’s launch date (Nov.19th), with a price of $250. Ouch, especially for smething that Miyamoto has gona on record of saying “basically a GameCube”. Okami for the PS2 was an amazingly beuatiful game, but flopped on store shelves. Clover Studios, responsible for games such as Okai and Viewtiful Joe, dissolved. And Sony announced that shipment numbers were going to be 400,000 units at launch of PS3’s in North America, and 100,000 units in Japan. Europe? Well, their launch had been delayed to March 2007.

And finally, Winter. No real need to sum this one up.

That leaves 2007. What will happen? Well, we’re going to play Super Smash Bros. online. We’re going to get to be the Chief one more time. We’re going to realize if the PS3 will sink or swim. We’re going to live next-gen. Because 2007 is now the proving grounds for three consoles. And chances are, only two will remain.

2006, you can go ahead and kiss my fat ass. Cause 2007 is gonna be a real bloodbath.